First off, I need to apologize for being so out of touch. There are many things going on in my life right now and I'm having trouble keeping up with the writing. I recently started reporting for The Examiner on their health channel and it is a very different kind of writing than I'm used to doing in my blog and newsletters. I really took on a lot this fall and now I'm struggling to keep up with everything and getting really cranky because my writing is one of the things that brings me the most joy. So in an attempt to reconnect with that part of myself I'm going to talk a little bit about the Feed Your Soul, Feed Your Body workshop I just did at Westchester Jewish Services.
I had a much larger group than I used to getting (it turned out to be 18 women) so I was a little nervous about that because I always have a lot of group participation and interaction and with that many people, I was nervous about keeping it on track. But it turned out great. Everyone who had something to say got to say it and I covered all the info that I wanted to. I have to say that this particular group of women really were smart and had really thought-provoking comments.
One of the exercises that I do in the workshop is to give each person a piece of chocolate and have them write down what's going on inside their head at the thought of consuming what's in front of them. After that, I have them unwrap the chocolate and take one bite. They then write down what they experience and what their thoughts are about eating the chocolate. They are then free to take the next bite, or not and they write down why they made the choice they did.
The exercise is a deliberate slowing down of a process for overeaters that usually takes a nanosecond. And when you slow things down, it gives you a chance to pay attention and notice things that you otherwise wouldn't.
What's revealed during this exercise is always surprising to me and to the participants. One woman made the decision not to eat the chocolate because she had taken the time to check in with herself and realized that she really didn't want it as opposed to following her usual reflex which is to see the chocolate and eat it. She really felt empowered about making that decision and not just blindly doing what she had always done. it was gratifying to see how good she felt about the decision that she made and how good she felt about doing it differently this time.
It doesn't matter whether you eat the chocolate or don't, the purpose of the exercise is to have some awareness about what you're doing and to make a conscious decision about what you will do.
The other comment I got came from a woman who said she was able to really enjoy the chocolate because she knew there was no danger of eating the whole bag. That just confirmed for me what I've been saying for years which is that we overeat not because we lack discipline, but because we put a "charge"on foods by making them forbidden, by telling ourselves that we can't be trusted around them, and by blocking our enjoyment in the first place because we're telling ourselves we shouldn't be eating whatever it is we're eating at the time. When you're somewhere and a really special dessert is being served that's something that you love but never get to eat--you should eat it! One of my catchphrases in my workshop is: If you're going to eat something, then LET YOURSELF HAVE IT! In other words, don't block the experience of pleasure by making yourself feel guilty about what you're eating. There's no point to that; it just makes you feel bad and that just makes you want to eat more. Also, if you were eating the food for the sake of pleasure and you were blocking the pleasure by telling yourself how weak willed you are and that you shouldn't be eating it, then you actually miss the experience that you went to the food for and you've ingested the calories but you missed the fun part.
So it was the idea of savoring and allowing yourself pleasure while you ingest the chocolate that was the other point of the exercise. Many of the women were surprised to find that after eating the chocolate they realized that they were actually satisfied and that one was enough. One woman said that she actually ate slowly enough to realize that the chocolate didn't even taste good and she wondered why she had eaten those candy bars her whole life. How's that for a great realization? To come to the place where you don't even like it.
I thank you, ladies at the WJCS for attending the workshop and for all of your wonderful participation. I hope that after taking it, all of you will see things a little differently and do things a little differently. And when you're about to dive in to that next piece of chocolate or that pint of ice cream stop and slow down and make the decision to let yourself have it, because if you're going to eat it anyway, you may as well enjoy what you're eating.
