The Question

This month's O Magazine was very, very interesting. Oprah wrote an article about her recent 40 pound weight gain. What struck me was the conclusion that she came to at the end of the piece. It was a huge validation for me and the work that I've been doing in the Feed Your Soul, Feed Your Body Workshops with women. In the article, Oprah realizes that the solution to her weight problem is not about finding the right diet or the right exercise plan, it's about saying yes to herself, making herself a priority, and giving herself proper self-care. She also found THE QUESTION, the question that I asked myself every time I wanted to eat something for a solid two years: What am I really hungry for?

Oprah's answer was that she was hungry for balance, hungry to do something other than work. For me it came down to two words really. Yes and freedom. It wasn't so much that I wanted to eat certain foods even though I spent many hours obsessing over whether or not to eat them, it was that I wanted to feel as though I could eat them if I wanted to. I wanted to have the freedom to say yes to whatever it was that I wanted. I realized that I put this into the framework of forbidden foods but in fact it was a metaphor for my life. I wanted to be told yes to whatever I wanted and I wanted the freedom to allow myself to want. My soul longed to go after the real thing and stop accepting inferior substitutes. I was looking for the freedom to explore the possibilities without that critical voice in my head rattling off a diatribe of why what I want to do will not manifest. I was hungry to hear YES, YES, YES to whatever my heart desired and then I wanted to be able to support myself emotionally enough to see it through. I wanted to be on my own team for a change instead of standing at attention like a mercenary waiting to shoot down my next idea. I wanted to be surrounded by my own inspiration and encouragement rather than be immobilized by my own fear and lack of self love. I wanted to nurture my gifts and see their value, instead of dismissing them or repressing them from my consciousness. I wanted to find solace in myself and my own resources, not look to food to heal my wounds. I wanted to stop looking for love and fulfillment in all the wrong places. I wanted to stop thinking that the Yeses were frozen somewhere in a pint of Ben and Jerry's.