Lindsay, Dina, and Me

It seems like the media can only go a couple of months without reporting on the comings and goings of Lindsay Lohan. What is the media’s fascination with her? Oh right, I always forget what’s driving that train--Dina.

I went to high school with Dina Lohan. We were in a dance program together that had only 40 girls. Dina was by far the best dancer and most stunning girl in the bunch. We were all sure that she’d hit Broadway right after graduation and never look back. We were so wrong.

I lost touch with Dina right after the program ended but I found out that she went on to dance with the Rockettes for a short time and soon after marry that sociopath Michael Lohan. She had Lindsay only 4 years after graduating high school. That was the end of the dance career. When I found out the path that her life ended up taking I was shocked. It was incredible to me that so much talent went to waste and it made sense why she had started Lindsay modeling from the time she exited the womb. She dragged that kid to auditions, acting lessons, dance lessons, you name it. She did everything with her that she should have done herself.

It’s a shame that Dina values celebrity more than being an artist. Dina gets a big kick out of being seen in night clubs in New York with Lindsay and telling everyone who doesn’t already know that she’s her mother. Recently she thought it would be a good idea to also add 15 year old Ally into the mix. How many women do you know that take their 15 year olds into clubs with them on a Saturday night?

I’ve always felt a lot of compassion for Lindsay because of knowing the back story about Dina. I can’t imagine the pressure that kid must have been under. In 2006 Vanity Fair did a cover story on Lindsay Lohan with a big interview which ended up being very controversial--especially for me. At that time I was taking my program, Feed Your Soul, Feed Your Body into high schools and colleges to bring awareness to young women of the dangers of obsessive dieting and chasing an unrealistic body size. I wrote a letter to Lindsay (which of course I never sent) that I would read to the girls as part of the workshop. I just came across it the other day. Here it is:

Dear Lindsay,

You don’t know me and we’ll most likely never meet, but I feel like I know you. Everytime I see you face on TV or plastered in People Magazine it brings me back to the performing arts program that I was in with your mother in high school. It’s amazing how much you look like her when she was 17.

Dina was very intimidating--she was an incredible dancer and one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen--with a body to match. Everytime I saw her it was a reminder of my own shortcomings. I always felt fat and ugly around your mother. Actually I spent most of my adolescence feeling fat and ugly and being around your mother just intensified it. I didn’t feel like I had the right to breathe her air. It’s weird looking back on it now from this perspective, for many years I’ve felt beautiful, sexy and confident, yet when I think back to that time, it’s like I’m right back in high school feeling totally insecure and worthless. I wonder if in addition to the pressure that is put on women in Hollywood about their looks that having such a gorgeous Mom put some pressure on you also.

I was so ecstatic about your admission to Vanity Fair Magazine regarding your recent weight loss and bouts with bulimia. Do you know what a great thing you were doing for the women and girls of this country? My first thought was, “wow, here is a girl who has her head on straight and who is not going to be manipulated by the media. Here is a girl who is a woman who knows and at this young age she knows that it is important for her to tell the truth about her situation.”

I was so proud of you for just being honest in that interview. When we tell the truth about our struggle and stop pretending to be perfect, we reveal our humanity, which helps others embrace theirs and that is what connects us to each other. I believe sharing our personal difficulties in public is a sacred act.

You can imagine my disappointment when you released a statement the day after the magazine hit news stands denying that you said those things to Vanity Fair and that they misquoted you and took things out of context.

For one day I held the belief that maybe the tide is starting to turn. Maybe the women who are so pressured by Hollywood to be stick thin are finally going to speak up one by one about this tyranny. Because if you speak up, that will trickle down and some 12 year old girl may actually think twice before she starts that diet she’s been pondering. I understand that your handlers probably advised you on your recent actions. But could you at least admit that you were too thin and that you didn’t look good?

I’m guessing that when the article came out and you saw how amazing those pictures were that they took of you maybe you thought an admission in print running alongside the photos would somehow detract from those beautiful images.

Lindsay, I have a newsflash for you: thinness is not happiness. It is heartbreaking to me that I’ve only recently been able to grasp this concept. I spent so much time obsessing over my body and trying to lose weight. I’ll never get that time back and I ‘ve dedicated my future to helping the women and girls of the world stop this behavior.

My wish for you is that you someday find yourself with as much courage as you have talent and that you can just be honest about who you are and what you’re struggling with. The world so doesn’t need another pretty face.

cathy