Do You See What I See

I was in the city today running around to appointments and stuff so I was wearing a black dress and boots- definitely more dressed up than usual. At the end of the day, I stopped in for a workout at the gym. The cute little gay boy behind the counter greeted me with, “I love your outfit.” I immediately snapped back “really, I always think I look like a total hag.” He said, “no you don't, I was going to ask you if you work in fashion.” WOW. Now that's a compliment.

I'm always so taken aback when anyone says anything like this to me. I think the shock comes not from the comment but the discrepancy between how I see myself and how others see me. The two points of view could not be farther apart.

I've been thinking a lot about this and I know I'm not alone here. Why is it so difficult for us to see ourselves the way others do?

In the workshops that I do with high school girls, I often give them the following self-esteem building exercise: ask your best friend or one of your close friends to describe how they see you and write down everything that they tell you. I've done this myself and it's incredibly eye opening. My friend Susan said wonderful things about me that I never would have thought about myself. Try it sometime—I guarantee it will make your day.

It will also help to remember these words from Neil Young:
Do not judge yourself too harsh my love or one day you may find your soul endangered.